Random Thoughts on the Canadian Crippler

From the time I was a kid, up until I was 23 or so, I swore up and down that I’d never watch professional wrestling. I knew, even then, what it fundamentally is—a bad soap opera with sweaty, muscular guys in tights rolling all over each other (in my younger years, I hadn’t even HEARD of the word “homoerotic”). Or, as one guy I knew once put it, “white trash dinner theater”.

I found myself eventually starting to watch it, and even enjoying it, however, largely due to the influence of my best friend and his two brothers. Sure, we marked out huge for the really big athletic spots, cringed when someone came within inches of compressing their spine, and admired the admittedly grand spectacle of it. That, and we also had fun ridiculing a lot of things—especially the silliness of the beast, and the fact that we were watching it to begin with.

One wrestler that always stood out to me, though, was a guy named Chris Benoit. Not the tallest wrestler, or even perhaps the most muscular, but man, he was intense. He was stockily built without being thick or bulky, but could move quickly. He was known as one of the best technical wrestlers out there, in terms of his training and athleticism, and even now, I’m inclined to believe it. He wasn’t the best talker when it came to doing interviews (“promos”), but the fans always loved him—every time he came out, the crowds went nuts.

Unfortunately, it was announced yesterday that Benoit, his wife, and seven-year old son were all found dead in their Atlanta home; although I’m not sure if it’s been officially announced yet, the leading theory seems to be that Benoit killed his wife and son over the weekend, and then killed himself sometime on Monday. WWE’s Monday night program, Raw, was a three-hour tribute to Benoit and his career, and had some pretty heartfelt commentary from his fellow wrestlers.

What’s going to be disappointing for me, and for a lot of his fans, is that his amazing career and body of work is going to be soiled, for lack of a better term, if the suspicions about him are correct—which, as I just peeked at the internet for the press conference transcript, seems to be confirmed now. It sounds like they believe he strangled his wife on Friday, did something similar to his son on Saturday, and then hung himself on Sunday. Also sounds like they’re looking into the potential that at least part of this was brought on by steroid rage…and WWE, whose website was plastered with Benoit pix and testimonials yesterday, has not only removed almost all of them, but has also removed all of Benoit’s merchandise from their online shop.

It’s a damn shame…all the more so because his wife and child are gone too.


iPod Shuffle—Finest Work Songs again…

Cream: “Sitting On Top of the World”
Rising Lion: “Lion Band Dub”
Gorillaz: “Every Planet We Reach is Dead”
Booker T and the MG’s: “Green Onions”
Michael Burns: “The Ambience”
The Mighty Mighty Bosstones: “Don’t Know How to Party”
The Allman Brothers Band: “Stormy Monday”
Stevie Ray Vaughan: “I’m Leaving You (Commit a Crime)”
B.B. King: “When Love Comes to Town”
Live: “All Over You”
Glenmore Brown: “Leggo the Herb Man”
Orange 9mm: “Gun to Your Head”
Public Enemy: “Terminator X to the Edge of Panic”
Gladys Knight and the Pips: “I’ve Got to Use My Imagination”
The Phantom of the Opera: “Angel of Music”
Rancid: “Gave It Away”
Guns n’ Roses: “It’s So Easy”
Queen: “Bohemian Rhapsody”
Smashing Pumpkins: “Snail”
Van Halen: “Running With the Devil”
Leftfield: “Phat Planet”
Dean Fraser: “Johnny Was a Good Man”
311: “Tribute”
Eric Johnson: “Cliffs of Dover”
Rage Against the Machine: “People of the Sun”
Jimmy Page: “Custard Pie/Black Dog”
Keb Mo’: “Remain Silent”
Marvin Gaye: “Sexual Healing”
The Doobie Brothers: “Listen to the Music”
Skankin’ Pickle: “Rotten Banana Legs”
Matisyahu: “Beat Box”
Bruce Springsteen: “Old Dan Tucker”
Juno Reactor: “High Energy Protons”
Bobby “Blue” Bland: “Let the Good Times Roll”
Oceanlab: “Satellite”
Creedence Clearwater Revival: “Fortunate Son”
Space Ghost and Brak: “I Love You, Baby”
Blues Traveler: “Hook”
Jimmy Page/Robert Plant: “The Battle of Evermore”
Everclear: “Santa Monica”
Red Hot Chili Peppers: “Behind the Sun”
Pink Floyd: “Another Brick in the Wall, Pt. II”